What am I to you?
by Shadow38383
Summary: It is a question the Komiyama has been pondering for a while. It takes a loss to find the answer.


**Kinda got inspired after reading "I'm Not Popular, So I'll Just Kill Myself" by EvilFuzzy9. Hope you like, enjoy! :D**

What did Tomoko mean to her? It's a question that has been in Komiyama's mind ever since that day, the day that impacted her much more than she ever thought…and yet…how could she not figure out how she was supposed to feel? So many days have passed since that single day, and even with that much time, Komiyama had yet to show any emotion of the event.

"_What am I to you?"_

Komiyama whipped her head around to find herself alone in her room, the voice sounded as if it was next to her. Komiyama couldn't help but have a small smile appear on her face. "She always did get under my skin." She said to herself, "I don't see why I thought she couldn't do it after that day."

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School was oddly long today, and it wasn't because Komiyama had a test either. She glanced up at the clock once more only to find that it had been five minutes since she last checked. 'At this rate, I'll remember every minute I spent with that bitch!' Komiyama thought to herself, 'Why am I even thinking about this? Is it because of Yuu? I know she wanted us to get along, but that bitch doesn't help the case!' The bell finally rang and Komiyama sighed in relief as she began to gather her things, 'It's not like we haven't had our moments…but she always seems to be competing against me. What did I ever do to have her act so coldly towards me?' A low rumble outside caught her attention and caused her to look out the window to see that it had started to rain. 'Crap, I forgot my umbrella too…' Komiyama sighed and made her way to her locker, hoping that there were some loan umbrellas available. 'At any rate, I shouldn't care.' She thought to herself, 'That bitch can do whatever the hell she wants as long as it doesn't involve me.' Oddly enough, even in her thoughts, that line was somewhat difficult to say and even made her pause in her steps. Did it mean something? Did she really care? Had she warmed up to her? Komiyama shook the thought out of her head and continued her way.

She finally reached her locker, began to put things away, and retrieved her shoes, 'Poor Yuu is too kind.' She thought to herself, 'She doesn't have the means to tell that bitch to leave her alone…' Komiyama sighed,'…who am I kidding, Yuu gets along with her just fine. She can't question why either, as the three of them share some of the same interests, with manga and anime being the major ones, 'Looks like I'm the only one left at school right now.' She thought to herself, 'I'd better hurry and go before the rain gets worse.' Komiyama closed her locker and checked her phone only to let out a frustrated growl as she saw that it was dead. "I knew I should have charged it this morning." She said to herself before looking around to find a single umbrella left. Komiyama sighed in relief as she reached to it, but something caught the corner of her eye. A familiar raven-haired girl was walking back into the school. "Where the hell is she going?" Komiyama asked herself before she found herself following the girl. The girl turned onto some stairs and seemed to be going to the roof, 'What's she thinking?' Komiyama thought to herself, 'It's pouring out there!' She watched the girl go through the door and get drenched before turning off to the side and disappearing from view. Komiyama stood a few feet away from the door, unsure of what to do. 'Nothing that's what.' She thought to herself, 'It's not like I give a damn anyway.' Komiyama turned to walk away when the roar of thunder caused her to pause and look through the window of the door to see that it began to rain harder and causing her to sigh, "I doubt the bitch even brought an umbrella, and there's only one left." With great effort, she forced herself through the door in search of the girl only for her to get drenched and find herself alone on the roof. "Come on out, I saw you come here." Komiyama called out, but she got no response. Aside from the rain and the occasional rumble of thunder, it was remarkable quiet. Quiet or not however, Komiyama was getting sick of being drenched to the core, "HEY BITCH! GET OUT HERE!" she screamed.

"Why are you here?" was the response she got. Komiyama turned to see that Tomoko was above the door, standing on the edge of the roof.

"Why else?" Komiyama replied, "You're out in the middle of the rain when you could be at home." 'Look at her, trying to be cool as always.' She thought to herself.

"Why would you care?" Tomoko asked.

"I don't." Komiyama replied.

"Then why are you here?" Tomoko asked again.

"Look, there was only one umbrella left and I'm sure as fuck that you didn't bring yours either." Komiyama replied. Tomoko didn't reply, instead she simply stood where she was, staring at the girl whom she knew only because of their friend Yuu.

"Kotomi Komiyama…" Tomoko spoke after an unknown amount of time. Komiyama herself raised an eyebrow in surprise.

'She's never called me by my name.' She thought to herself, 'I didn't even think she'd taken the time remember it entirely!'

"What am I to you?" Tomoko asked. The question caught Komiyama off guard, sure she had been trying to figure just that earlier today, but she never really came to a solid answer. "Just what am I to you?" Tomoko asked again, "A friend? A crush? A rival? Or am I just a nuisance to you like everyone one else thinks?"

'Nuisance?' Komiyama thought. There was no denying that she saw her that way at times, but there were their good times as well, no matter how small they were. 'A friend?' she was not sure whether she could say for certain if she considered her a friend, it was quite a blurred line. 'A rival?' there was a time when she may have responded in a solid yes, but after all that has happened…she wasn't sure. 'A crush?' Komiyama never gave this much thought, though a part of her wanted to outright puke at the question itself, another part seemed to ask, why not? This confused her, she couldn't tell if it was the setting that made her think this, or if it really was something she felt. Komiyama opened her mouth to call Tomoko out and all her 'nonsense', but it was then that she realized the position Tomoko was in. One wrong step, and she would be meeting the concrete a few meters below her. Now was not the time to agitate her, "I-…I don't know." Komiyama replied, hoping that the lack of answer might just get the girl to come down in defeat.

"…is that true?" Tomoko asked as she made her way to another edge that was high enough to let her jump over the fence that bordered the roof.

"H-hey, what do you think you are doing!?" Komiyama asked before she rushed up the ladder and stopped a meter away from Tomoko.

"You said you didn't care." Tomoko replied, "Nobody does…nobody would miss me."

"What about Yuu!?" Komiyama shouted, "You and I know that Yuu cares you stupid bitch!"

"She's got you and her boyfriend…she doesn't need me." Tomoko replied, taking a step towards the edge.

"What about your brother!?" Komiyama added as she slowly got closer to Tomoko in hopes of being able to act if she did something stupid, "You think Tomoki would just shrug it off!? And what about your parents!?"

"My parents have Tomoki, and Tomoki wouldn't notice anyway." Tomoko replied, "He barely acknowledges me outside of the house." Komiyama managed to get close enough to see that Tomoko was crying and continued to get closer to the edge. "Nobody would care." Tomoko continued, "Nobody cares for an ugly shut in." It was then that Tomoko turned to Komiyama and what Komiyama saw both made her feel terrified and filled with pity. Tomoko was indeed crying, but at the same time she had a disturbing smile, as if everything was about to be solved. "In fact, everyone would be better off if I was gone!" she added. It was then that Komiyama realized what Tomoko wanted to do. Komiyama quickly tried to grab Tomoko, but as she did Tomoko slipped from trying to dodge her and hit her head on the corner of the entrance roof before falling to the roof floor below. Komiyama watched in horror as blood began to puddle around Tomoko's unmoving body from her head. Komiyama quickly rushed to the ladder and picked up the unmoving girl by her shoulders.

"Tomoko!?" she called out, hoping to get a response. She couldn't believe what she was looking at, Tomoko had a hole punched into her skull where the blood continued to gush out.

"K-komiyama?" Tomoko asked weakly. Komiyama couldn't believe that she talked, it was a miracle considering the hole in her head! She sighed in relief, but there was no time to do much more, she had to call for help! She quickly pulled out her phone but remembered that the cell was dead.

"Damn it, did this have to happen now!?" she asked herself as she looked to find Tomoko's cell phone, only to see it a few meters away, likely flung out from the fall, with the screen smashed and rendered useless. 'Shit, shit, shit! What do I do now!?' Komiyama thought to herself as she tried to think of any way to get help.

"K-komiyama…" Tomoko called out getting the girl's attention, "t-take care…of…Yuu…for me…" Though her eyes remained half open, Tomoko's body fell limp. The girl had died in Komiyama's arms.

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Komiyama had delivered the news to Yuu a few days after the incident. It's not like Komiyama expected things to go smoothly, but what she saw was completely out of the blue as Yuu had broken down crying before destroying her room in frustration of the loss of her friend. The poor girl could not stop crying, even as Komiyama left after a few hours to give her some time alone, her friend continued to cry. Komiyama could help but feel like she had let her down…she failed her friend.

News had spread quickly of what had happened, and while Tomoko may not have been popular, but people knew who the girl was. While many simply gave their condolences, there were a few who were hit a little harder. Komiyama noticed that the student council president had been dozing off in thought and a tear would come to her eye when she fell too deep. Similarly, a girl that was in Tomoko's class had become somewhat quiet, almost in regret for not having done something. Tomoki was hit the hardest. Komiyama tried to console him, but he simply refused to give recognition. Did he blame her? Did he somehow think that it was her fault? 'No.' she thought to herself, 'this isn't about me.' The simple line was the truth. Tomoki had turned a cold shoulder on everyone, not just her. Every person that tried to talk to him was ignored as he went through the days like a mindless zombie, but as cold as he became, nobody could blame him. Whether he had a strong sibling bond with his sister or not, he lost his sister. Anyone with a sibling had an idea of what it was he was going through, and the rest knew better than to try and hold his new attitude against him.

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Despite seeing the reactions of others, for the past few days Komiyama could not express any form of emotion. How couldn't she? The girl had died right in her arms, yet the only thing she could feel was confusion. A rumble of thunder caught her attention and she noticed that it had begun to raining again.

"Just like that day…" Komiyama said to herself.

"_What am I to you?"_ Her voice asked once more.

"Even in death, you like to agitate me huh?" Komiyama said with a light smile as she found her answer. She got up off her bed and made her way to the front door of her home before walking out into the rain.

"Komiyama, what do you think you are doing!?" her mother called out, but the stern voice was drowned out by the rain and sobs that began to make their way out of Komiyama's throat. Days after Tomoko's death, Komiyama was finally able to let her feelings of the event arise. "Th-that bitch was all of those…" she sobbed as she fell to her knees, "all of those and more." In one forced gulp she readied herself before looking up and letting out the most pained filled cry of her life.


End file.
